raydier

After a month of serious emotional problems and elbow injury, I feel a little sign of recovering, though it is still very hard to do anything productive, at least I can start trying.

I find it's a lot more difficult to keep my attention on any work beyond several minutes, thus all my practice become extremely fragmented and crude. Sometimes I only want to randomly doodle without purpose, even without forms. I try to share my practice works, no matter how bad it is as usual, however, there's a point that those practice works are just too disgraceful to share anymore. I still practice all the time, but very very fragmented. I feel no progress and it's is very hard to not lose my skill. Like the Red Queen, I have to run just to keep myself in the same place.

I nearly always feel uncomfortable, sometime I have headache, other times have diarrhea and all sort of digestive issue, back and neck pain is quite regular occurrence. All those problem start even when I'm a teenager, and never truly go away, I just endure or ignore them all the way. I try to deal with those problem, but at best I can barely live with those problems. As I know, many of my acquaintance really don't think those are big deal, everyone have headache now and them, diarrhea is for most part, very ordinary and not a big deal. As I know, most people often deal with them with ease, or when things become a little bit harder, with dete